Some of us may have had experiences in our lives that demanded that we protect ourselves emotionally, and sometimes even physically. Because of these experiences, we have had to develop defenses in order to survive. While these defenses may have been helpful in the past, they may not be appropriate now. For example, defenses that bring with them negative emotional baggage, are problems.

However, learning how to control our thinking may be the most important strategy that any of us can develop, in our attempt to appropriately manage our feelings, especially our anger. Think about the situations that cause you to become

angry. What thoughts were going through your mind at the time? Did your thoughts calm you down or feed your feelings of anger?  What are the particular physical and psychological signals that indicate you are becoming angry? For example, do you find yourself becoming easily angered when you are tired, under stress, or feeling threatened in any way? Does your heart start to beat really fast? Answers to these questions can help you to identify your triggers, and cause you to think about how you respond to anger. But you can’t get away with the excuse that, “So and so made me angry.” The fact is, YOU can learn to control your anger. It may not be easy, but the more you know about your triggers, thoughts, and behaviors, the more control you can have over your emotions. (IGBATTMHO)