Rejection by IGBATT (All Rights Reserved)
If you have ever been rejected in your life it is understandable that you may be a little hesitant about placing yourself in situations in which you could potentially be rejected again. But do not allow a fear of rejection to control you. When you allow a fear of rejection to control your life, you limit your potential and your ability to move forward in the purpose and plans that God has for you. Yes, we may be rejected sometimes but we must always remember that even when man rejects us, Jesus Christ is always in our corner.
Where does a fear of rejection come from? An individual can develop a fear of rejection from a variety of sources to include: a history of abandonment, abuse, peer rejection, family issues, and other negative situations. For example, some parents for various reasons may have one favorite child and one not so favorite child in the family. The not so favorite child grows up feeling rejected by his or her parents and because of this he or she may go through life feeling as if there is something wrong with him or her. Then there are situations in which a child grew up without the presence of a loving parent or a stable home, and consequently grew up feeling rejected or different from everyone else. But irrespective of the source, feelings of rejection like other negative emotions can trigger or open the door for a host of other unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. For instance, guilt, a poor self-image, a tendency to degrade ones self, anger, hatred, self-pity, distrust, and a lack of self-confidence, are just some of the negative feelings that can grow out of the seed of rejection. And feelings like denial, avoidance, anger, and hostility are just a few of the man made emotional defenses that we use to control the pain of rejection.
For example, whenever we anticipate being rejected, we erect emotional defenses as a way to protect ourselves from the pain. Unfortunately, man-made defenses, just like the fig leaves that Adam and Eve used in the Garden of Eden to hide their sins; only conceal they do not heal us. Man-made defenses or gimmicks give us the illusion of being free, but the feelings we are trying to cover up always have a way of manifesting in other areas of our lives.
Covering up our feelings can cause us to go through life being on the defensive, and fearful in our relationships with other people. But please know that God wants to heal you and to make you completely free from the influence of your past. Because of the resurrecting power of Jesus Christ you don’t have to spend the rest of your life being controlled by a fear of rejection or any other negative emotion. Jesus Christ did not rise again just so a fear of rejection, or the defenses that you have created to deal with your hurts can rule your present or control your future.
Living with a fear of rejection can cause you to not only shy away from people and certain circumstances, but it can also keep you from embracing your future and the call that God has for your life. Yes, you do have a call of God on you life and there will be times that walking with God will require you to move out of your comfort zone and run the risk of being rejected for that call. Additionally, there will be seasons in our walk with God that as we love and seek Him, He may choose to love us back with a word of correction or rebuke that we erroneously perceive as rejection. But the word “correction” when used by God, is not a harsh or unkind word.
But if we are reacting to events or situations based on our fears, we could misinterpret the correction of God for rejection. But always know, that God’s words of correction are designed to heal us, and to draw our spirits closer to Him. So don’t try to figure out God by using your past experiences as a guide, let the Word of God be your interpreter. God has designed a wonderful purpose for your life. So don’t let a fear of rejection keep you from experiencing all that He has for you.
- Can you identify some of the ways that a fear of rejection is controlling your life?
- Identify and meditate on three scriptures that can help you overcome feelings of rejection.
- What does the bible say about God and His nature? What does the bible say about His thoughts towards you?
- How are your past experiences affecting your relationship with the Word Of God? With other people?