By J. Brown Mills, Symphony Reads Ministries and IGBATTMHO
Poor self-worth in a person can be like a tree with no roots. It has no foundation and can only sprout false roots in a person’s mind. Overcoming feelings of low self-worth is essential, but maintaining a positive self-image is a challenge for many people. For some of us, constant anxieties about perceived insecurities is how we live our lives. We have to work to ground ourselves in true perspectives and not our insecurities. We have to overcome those thoughts and feelings that cause us to behave in an insecure manner by challenging our ideas and learning to see ourselves differently. We can’t allow a negative self-image to control us.
A negative self-image can lead to feelings of self-hate and impact a person’s ability to enjoy love and happiness. What we think about ourselves will determine how we will or will not respond to events in our lives. Listen, if you believe that you are incapable or inferior, then you will feel and act as if you are inferior. Feelings of negative self-worth can make one feel that they are not even worthy of life itself. So we have to begin to build our self-image.
But how can we build self-worth after viewing ourselves as worthless for years and even decades? Answer, we have to change our core beliefs or the way that we see ourselves. What are you saying and thinking about your self? Are those thoughts balanced? Any time you find your self thinking negatively, challenge those thoughts. Please write down your positive factors, balancing them with the truth.
Yes, it may be true that one person does not like you, but it is not true that “everyone” does not like you. Identify your positive factors and write them down. Paste them on your mirror, your walls, in the car, at the office. Put them anywhere to remind you just how special you are. We have to redefine our core beliefs and ground our feelings in balanced thoughts and feelings.
There are several strategies that you can use to change your self-worth, some of which are discussed below.
Number One Self Care: You matter. Know that we are important, and it is okay to take that much-needed bath, nap, or walk. Taking care of other people ensures that they are “okay,” but it does not guarantee that you are “okay.” What about you? Taking care of you in even the smallest ways will do wonders for you mentally and physically. It is not being selfish at all. Remember, if you don’t put the oxygen mask on yourself first, how are you going to get it to everyone else?
Number Two Journal: Keeping a Journal is a great way to release bottled up emotions. We take on so much and don’t’ always realize just how much emotions we have bottled up. Bottled up feelings can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and damage to the mind and bodies that we often do not feel until its too late. Yes, it is good to talk to someone, but it is also okay to start with pen and paper. Write, write, and get it all out. The releasing of feelings concerning those things that bother us, the things that have happened to us, the words we would otherwise dare not speak, write them down. Then to ensure that no one else reads them take the papers and destroy them. The healing begins when you express your feelings as opposed to hiding them.
Number Three—Nobody Else Matters: Do not base your self worth on what other people are saying or thinking about you. Why? People have unresolved negative issues that render their views biased. So we have to connect with the idea that no one can define us, but us. But if your thoughts about you are negative, then your ideas need to be challenged with the truth. That truth is found in the Word of God. Remember God created us in His image and we are wonderfully made.