Where does a fear of rejection come from? An individual can develop a fear of rejection from a history of abandonment, abuse, peer rejection, family issues and other negative situations. For example, some parents for various reasons may have one favorite child and one not-so-favorite child. As a result, the not-so-favorite child grows up feeling rejected by his or her parents. Because of this, he or she may go through life feeling as if there is something wrong with him or her. Or a child may have grown up without the presence of a loving parent or a stable home and consequently grew up feeling rejected or different from everyone else. However, regardless of the source, feelings of rejection can trigger other unhelpful thoughts and cause us to practice unhealthy behaviors to emotionally protect ourselves. For instance, unwarranted guilt, a poor self-image, anger, hatred, self-pity, distrust and a lack of self-confidence are just some of the negative feelings that can grow from the seed of rejection. And feelings such as denial, avoidance, anger and hostility are just a few of the emotional defenses that we create in order to control the pain of rejection.

For example, whenever we anticipate rejection, we erect emotional defenses to protect ourselves from the pain. Manmade defenses or gimmicks give us the illusion of being free, but the feelings we are trying to cover up always find a way to manifest themselves in other areas of our lives.

Covering up our feelings can cause us to go through life being on the defensive and fearful in our relationships with other people. Do not let rejection control you. IGBATTMHO.ORG